As a woman who struggled with infertility for years before having my son, I remember the pain all too well. Going to church on Mother’s Day, surrounded by mothers and their quiver full of smiling children, aching to be one who was invited to stand and have the congregation acknowledge my tireless efforts. I tried to make it about other people, recognizing my mother and all the other amazing women in my life. My longing to have a child made each Mother’s Day unbearable.
I’m hardly alone in this. Amy reminds us in her open letter to pastors that we can and should acknowledge mothers without alienating others. That woman who sits while the “real mothers” stand has prayed for you, cried with you, served and praised with you. Let us not forget to celebrate her.
“To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.”